PeRfEcT
PERFECT A song by P!nk. A songfic by Coco Shadowheart lay next to her mate, Emberbird, as she replayed the events of her life. Made a wrong turn Once or twice Dug my way out Blood and fire Bad decisions That's alright Welcome to my silly life Shadowkit sat down on the floor of the nursery, batting at her toy moss ball. She squeaked as it went rolling to the side. Happy, she jumped after it. Then, Cypresskit padded up to her, and swatted at her toy with all his might. She glared at him, and leapt on him. Anger blared in her eyes as she ripped at his fur, claws unsheathed. This kit was nothing but a bully. Suddenly, her mother Mintstep glimpsed the scene, and sprang onto Shadowkit. "How dare you!" She hissed scornfully. "You cannot hurt another kit, you fool. You are a bad kit, and you should go..." Darkpaw watched from outside of the den, eyes sad. It was only moons ago she had dealt with this abuse. She was not perfect. Mistreated Misplaced Misunderstood Miss no way it's all good It didn't slow me down. Mistaken Always second guessing Underestimated Look I'm still around Shadowkit glanced outside of the den. Her mother had punished her for "attacking" Cypresskit. Now, all the outside were playing...without her. Pain welled inside of her as she saw Leafkit flirting with her crush, Frogkit. A flame or anger lit in her heart. But everything was for nothing. No use trying. Pretty, pretty please Don't you ever, ever feel Like you're less than Less than perfect Pretty, pretty please If you ever, ever feel Like you're nothing Less than perfect Shadowpaw took a long deep breath, cool air filling her lungs. How enjoyable. Her legs were moving freely under the smooth surface of the river, and it felt soooooo good. The sunlight rested just below the edge of a tall oak tree, and brilliance glowed from the top of the mountains. How beautiful. Then, her gaze flitted to the left as an angry voice called to her. Stonewing, her mentor, was peering over the river was a frown of dissaproval on his voice. "Shadowpaw!" He cried scornfully. "Get out, for StarClan's sake! What are you, a RiverClan fleabag?" Shadowpaw flattened her ears as she reluctantly padded out of the cool moisture of the river. There was no more joy in anything anymore. Darksky glared at Stonewing from behind the trees, sympathy for the misunderstood apprentice growing in her heart. You're so mean When you talk About yourself, you were wrong Change the voices in your head Make them like you instead So complicated Look how we all make it Filled with so much hatred Chased down all my demons I've seen you do the same Shadowpaw trudged to the battle training area, where Stonewing was teaching the other apprentices a new battle move. Once he saw her, annoyance filled her eyes. It quickly turned to anger. "Hey Shadowpaw, why don't you try the new move on Sunpaw?" He asked, an irritating smirk resting on his face. "But I haven't learned the move yet!" She protested. "Too bad!" Sunpaw snickered, and tackled Shadowpaw before she could make a move. Her back knocked the floor, throwing her breath to the bottom of her lungs. Struggling, she flailed helplessly. "Let me go already!" "Okay, wimp!" Sunpaw got off of her, and laughed. The other apprentices joined in, laughing and calling her names, such as, Shadowfail, Uglypaw, mousedung, and fox breath. Tears burned her eyes, and anger grew in her heart. Leafpaw walked over to her, and bit at her ears. Blood trickled out, and Stonewing did nothing. He just sat there, not caring what happened as long as it didn't involve him. "Let me go!" Shadowpaw pleaded. "Sorry, I didn't get that. I don't speak fox-dung," Leafpaw shot back. The other apprentices found this funny, and helped Leafpaw by ripping at her legs, and clawing her face. "Stop it!" She shrieked. Blood was streaming everywhere, and Shadowpaw gathered her remaining bits of energy, and ran off. Shadowpaw padded sadly to the hunting area, where the other female apprentices were eating a rabbit they had just caught. Wasn't that against the Warrior Code? Shadowpaw didn't know what to think. With a sigh of carelessness, she sniffed the air for mice. The warm smell filled her nose, and temptation made her drool. Taking a glance to her side, she padded forwards. The small creature was scuffling through the green grass, unsuspecting of her. She pounced. The mouse was killed in an instant, and Shadowpaw felt a pang of triumph. Her mouth watered as she took the first bite. But at that moment, she heard her mentor coming. It was too late. "Shadowpaw, what are you doing?" He hissed. His eyes flashed with fury. "You're breaking the Warrior Code!" "But so were they!" Shadowpaw flicked her tail towards the other apprentices, and a fake expression of innocence appearing in their eyes. "Close it." Stonewing hissed. With that, he began shoving her away. Embarrassed, Shadowpaw turned to see the other apprentices snickering. Her scars burned. Hatred filled her heart. Shadowpaw stalked to a bush, and peered through the emerald colored leaves. The other she-cats were showing off their thin, muscular bodies, and beautiful scarless faces. She felt a pang of jealousy. Her body was weak and bony, with a slim trace of muscle. Her face was full of scars. Shadowpaw snuck out to the back of the tallest tree. Anger was steaming from the tip of her claws, and she itched to get it off. With a growl, she began carving into the tree. PROUD B*TCHES! She carved with her claw. More hatred filled her motion with each swipe. Dashing off, she passed the pool, but then stopped to look at her reflection. A bony weak cat with no muscles and a very thin belly stared back at her, the scars on her faces explaining her depressing story. There was no hint of beauty in this gray figure. Darksky felt a tear in her eye from behind the bushes. Shadowpaw wasn't as bad as she thought she was. Oh Pretty, pretty please Don't you ever, ever feel Like you're less than F*cking perfect Pretty, pretty please If you ever, ever feel Like you're nothing You're f*cking perfect to me Shadowpaw cried in fury as she entered the depths of the flowing, freezing river. Life was pain. Pain was tears. Tears were sad. Life was sad. Making sure the water was ice cold, she enjoyed the feeling of suffering. It was pure anger lashing out with each icy bolt of pain. The whole worlds scared So I swallow the fear The only thing I should be drinking Is an ice cold beer So cool in line And we try, try, try But we try too hard And it's a waste of my time Shadowpaw felt tears of agony and satisfaction flow in her eyes as she worked her claw across her limb. Fury poured out with each lash. Swiping her claw across her arm, she carved, PERFECT, in scratchy letters. She had...to be...perfect... Blood streamed out of her limb, the pain growing worse each moment. But it felt so good. Done looking for the critics Cause they're everywhere They don't like my jeans They don't get my hair Exchange ourselves And we do it all the time Why do we do that? Why do I do that? Why do I do that? Then, Shadowpaw noticed her toy moss ball on the ground from she had been just a tiny kit. Getting out of the river, she picked it up. Maybe Shadowpaw was perfect. She could find her heart again. Yeeeeaaaahhh Oooooooh Oh baby pretty please Pretty, pretty please Don't you ever, ever feel Like you're less than f*cking perfect Shadowheart padded around the camp, happiness finally replacing the depression that had once dominated the space in her heart. She had found herself. Her best friend, Darksky beamed at her, and she gave her a proud smile. They both had such similar relations. Then, a tom called Emberbird glanced at her. He looked back, and she grinned at him. Her life was unfolding into a happy story. Finally. Pretty, pretty please If you ever, ever feel Like you're nothing You're f*cking perfect to me 'You're perfect, you're perfect ' 'Pretty, pretty please If you ever, ever feel Like you're nothing You're f*cking perfect to me ' Shadowheart smiled as Emberbird cuddled next to her, giving her a content smile. She smiled back, then padded out of bed. The old moss ball faded into view, and she picked it up. Stepping quietly into the apprentice's den, she made her way to her daughter Hollypaw's nest. Her smile grew as she nudged the moss ball next to her daughter's warm, sleeping body. ''"You're perfect." ''